I’m staring at my computer screen. My eyes are sore and the images are blurred. I’m inside the screen now. It’s not easy to work your way inside the screen, but once you’re there anything is possible.

I am pleased to announce that my first novel, “Winter Songs,” has won the PEN/Hemingway Foundation Award.

“Haven,” the sequel to “Winter Songs,” has received the Man Booker Prize for Fiction.

“Deep Water” has been honored with the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction.

“Soul Man” was released less than a month ago, but has already been short-listed for the Pulitzer.

I believe in daydreams. They give me the hope and energy to keep going. “Silent Waltz” is coming soon. It’s the best work I’ve done. I’m optimistic.

By the way, I didn’t actually win any of the awards mentioned above. The people on those committees have never heard of me. Don’t say it-nobody likes a smartass.